My Jesus…

You are everything that is good in me
You are all of my hope and strength
Without you I am grumpy, tired, critical and worn out
In you I am renewed and ready, hopeful and expecting the best

Thank you for your patience with me
Thank you for never letting go of my hand
Thank you that even when I am a mess, your plans for me remain
Thank you…because even a bad day just reminds me
You are the one who is good…not me.

Where would I be without you in my life?
What would have become of me?

You have saved me in every way
You continue to rescue me…teach me…nudge me…forgive me…
You deserve all of me
Yet I can’t even yield to you without you enabling me to do so

You know me
I am ordinary
Sometimes I struggle
I get tripped up in my weaknesses

I know you
You are extraordinary
You never waver or waffle
You are always the same: powerful and kind

Everyday, I need you. There is not a day that goes by in which I can fulfill my destiny on my own. You are the safest place, the surest place. You are my very best friend and companion. One day…one day…I will actually look up into your face…look into your eyes. When I was young it was like a fairy tale. But now I have hurt enough, made enough mistakes, realized how incapable I am of changing myself, to realize you are everything. If I were to live this life with you on the perimeter of my thoughts…your presence an occasional experience…never hearing your sweet whisper to my heart…I would miss out on the meaning of my life.  You are not part of who I am.  You are not a file in my cabinet.  I am learning, day by day, that your place is in the core of who I am…I can’t have a “place” for you in my heart….You are my heart and I pray every other thing that grows out of my life has its’ roots in you.  I know sometimes I drift from that…forgive me…help me…at the end of the day let it be you who picks the me up out of the rubble of my crash.  Let it be you who soothes my heart, washes away the grime of sin and sits with me…in the quiet comfort of friends who really, really know each other.  I could write forever and be at a loss for words…the majesty of a King and the gentle kindness of a shepherd.  The power of Creator and the meekness of a servant.  The wonder of a miracle-worker and the simplicity of a story-teller.  The irony of God resting in a manger so He could hang on a cross.  The tears of Calvary and the worship of Heaven.  The keys of death in nailed scarred hands.  A missing Jewish corpse and the certainty He lives.  My Jesus.


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