Last night, after getting our girls to bed, I came downstairs with the reflex intention of turning on HGTV and relaxing a bit on the couch! In my heart, however, a desire stirred to sit and read my Bible. Over time, God has helped me establish the habit of prayer and Bible reading. That was a big deal for me because I am not a type “A” personality with a bent for self-discipline. Really, though, the correlation between my attitudes/behavior and the amount of time I spend with God is evidence enough to me that it’s important!
Lately, I have been feeling like I was not sensing God’s presence or His voice in my heart as much. I have prayed and “soul-searched.” I have given God permission to show me any changes He wants me to make. Although I haven’t lost the peace in my heart, I have missed the “nearness” of God. I know that He is in fact near to me regardless of feeling it, but I want to continue to grow and know the Lord more than I have before. So, as I have asked God what He wants of me, I have been reminded of the verse in Jeremiah that talks about finding God when you search with all your heart: Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. God’s decree. (Jer 29:14 the message) And I had to ask myself, am I searching with all my heart? Do I want it more than anything else? Yes, I am getting up to read and pray but have I slipped into “good enough” mode? Am I still searching or have I grown satisified?
After a few minutes of reading my Bible last night, I sensed that still, small voice say to my heart “you made room.” In my heart I knew what the Lord way saying: Like when I was a kid sitting with my friends and another friend came around that I was so excited to see, I would tell my other friends “make room!” If I truly want to know God more, experience more of His presence in my life, I need to “make room.” He has enabled me to “make room” in my day over this past year and it has changed my life. But you can never “arrive” and know God fully on this earth, so as I hunger for more of Him and His movement in my life I need to make more room. Since I have “tasted and seen” how good God is I could never be truly satisfied without His nearness. Perhaps this is one of the ways He draws me closer…leads me to places where I grow willing to make more room…because I have to know Him, have to sense Him leading me.
There is nothing wrong with HGTV ( love it!). There is nothing wrong with a good book (love those!). There is nothing wrong with sleep (love that too!). I just need to know when He stirs my heart to make more room then I have to be willing to choose Him instead of those things. I am sure I won’t choose Him every time. I would love to think so but the truth is I am very human…but realizing that like in any relationship, if you want it to grow and flourish, if you want to know the person even better, you may have to look at some of your other “friends” and say “Make Room!”