“Undone”

One of my favorite worship songs these days is “Undone” by Brian & Jen Johnson. This morning, as I was listening, the lyrics completely washed over me again…

You are my favorite song
King of earth, Lord of all
You are the reason
The reason I am here
Causing my heart to love
Each moment you draw near

I am so undone
I am so undone
I am so undone
I look into your eyes
And see the love that burns for me
Oh, it burns for me…

As God’s love washed over me, as I lifted my hands in thanksgiving, tears streamed  down my face because I realized what it really means to be “undone.”  I think we all just live with tangles on the inside…our souls knotted with hurt feelings, offense, abuse from our childhoods, neglect, rejection, insecurity, hatred, regret, pride, unforgiveness, doubt, fear, loneliness, weariness and the sin in our lives.  I have loved this song since I came across it on youtube…I love the idea of just being wasted, undone, for Jesus.  But this morning the tears just poured down because as I sang the lyrics to God I knew what it really meant.  I am so undone…

Jesus, your love has untied the knot of insecurity and never feeling good enough.  Each moment I spend with you further loosens the tangle of needing approval from others; your unconditional love and acceptance tugs on the ties that bind me to feelings of inadequacy from my own childhood.  The tightest knots of pain from harsh and abusive words spoken into my life are gently untied in your sweet presence.  Because of you I am undone.  Because you have loosened so much of the grip of negativity in my life, I grow ever more trusting in your hands…as I know you will continue to loosen me, in your great care, from the sin, destructive habits and pain in my own soul.  The miracle of changing…the miracle of letting go…the greatest miracle of all.  I could never, ever have done this for myself.  There would never have been a book, a counselor or a preacher that could do what you have done for me.  And so now as I live another day, take another step forward in living through you, I anticipate greater change you will bring to my life.  I am unafraid of brokeness.  I long for pride in my life to give way to humility before you…and for the fear of man’s opinion to give way to the boldness of believing.  I will not live out the rest of my life professing a faith in a savior who raised the dead yet live out my years with a dead and hardened heart.  Jesus, you are my favorite song…you are king of earth and Lord of all…it’s because of the love in your eyes that I am drawn to you…to let your fingers probe my heart and soul…to let you untie the knots that oppress me…so I can live undone.

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