Matthew 23: 11-12 (the message)
“Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty.”
I read this verse yesterday and again this morning. In my internal struggle lately, wanting to know how God is going to resolve certain circumstances, I have become discontent. I hadn’t realized that until yesterday. I thought I was just pushing my way through doubt and fear, and to an extent I was. But God spoke a whisper to my heart yesterday, quite unexpectedly, and I realized that my confusion and angst over the future was really rooted in a discontent for the season God has me in now. Sigh…
This morning as I read over this verse again I sensed this: It’s not about who you are trying to be, it’s about Who you are serving. Even with good intentions our hopes and efforts can drift into a place where we lose pure focus on why we do the things we do for God. In an ever so subtle way, our motives become “mixed.” Isn’t that the heart of my blog? The reality of our humanity and mixed motives. See, I have experienced this true contentment with myself…letting go of all I thought I needed to be to gain approval and love…content with obscurity…content with myself…a grateful heart…fulfilled in God.
Discontent disguises itself in a “need.” Of course there are legitimate needs in life but when we trade our joy and peace for frustration and striving could it be we have grown discontent and dissatisfied, less willing to trust God? How easily we go from trusting God for the answers in His timing to telling God what the answer to our need is and how we need it right now! And because God knows best and loves us too much to give us less than His best, He lets us “stew” in our juices until we grow weary enough to relent in our willfulness.
For me, I sensed Him letting my heart know yesterday that He knows why and how long this season will last. And when He is ready to move me then He will. Was that difficult to hear? Not really. Because it was a sweet reminder that God knows what I don’t know. As elemental as that sounds, I had lost sight of it. It was like a breath of fresh air to remember Oh Yes! God knows what is best for me and my family and I can be content in every season as I trust Him to take care of me.
My heart is to go at this life of Christ-following full-steam ahead…but with a conviction and reminder that it’s not about who I am trying to be. It’s always all about Who I am serving…the King of Kings…the One and Only…the Great Love of my life. And when I let Him clear the fog from my spiritual glasses, I crisply see where contentment lies…in the heart of a servant, content with the person God made you to be in the season He ordains for you.