Losing Yourself

Proverbs 30:5 (the message)
The believer replied, “Every promise of God proves true;
     he protects everyone who runs to him for help.

Check out the last line in this mornings devotion from “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young:  Enjoy the adventure of finding yourself through losing yourself in Me.

This really resonates with me!  For the longest time I felt lost.  Not lost like without Jesus lost, but lost in the sense of having no real idea of who I was meant to be.  For much of my 20’s I was floundering while trying to meet the expectations of those around me.  I remember feeling like I was a drawing without the thick black line around the edge that brings definition.  Remember when you were a kid and you would color or draw and then get out the black marker and outline your work so it would pop?  I had no “pop”…just the shadow of who others wanted me to be.

Living for the approval of others is tiring work.  For me, it was the result of having no clear idea and God-given definition in my life.  I knew I was saved and I knew God loved me but I didn’t know what He wanted of my life…what and who He had created me to be.  See, as I was trying to become more of what people in my life said I should be, what they thought was “worthy,” I lost more and more of myself.  And eventually, due mostly to my strong desire to raise confident, God-loving daughters I had enough.  Over time I learned that I could not instill in my girls something I did not have myself.  I might dream of them being steady, stable and God-confident women but how would I model that for them if I was too busy grasping at the approval of my husband, in-laws, Spiritual leaders and friends?  Well, I couldn’t.

The scripture above is a great place to start if you long to really find yourself.  And yes indeed, it starts with losing yourself.  Every promise of God proves true…The Bible is truth.  God is love.  Jesus laid down His life for you.  God knows the plans He has for you…to give you a hope and a future.  He protects everyone who runs to him for help.  If you hunger for freedom to be yourself, but you don’t know who that is supposed to be then run to Him.  Run…Run…Run.

There will always be someone or something blaring loudly in your ear telling you that you are not good enough.  You don’t have the right personality, the right body, the right material possessions, the right doctrine, the right church denomination, the right gifting or skills, the right numbers in your bank accounts.  But I can tell you one person who is never going to tell you all about what you don’t have and that is Jesus.  If you’ll run to Him, if you’ll risk believing that His promises prove true, Jesus will tell you all about what you do have.  What He has done for you…placed in you…purposed for you.  And I’d like to report, most amazingly, Jesus isn’t asking, expecting or desiring for you to be and look like anyone…except you.  One of the best first steps we can take (after inviting Jesus into our lives) is to shake off the lie that we are supposed to measure up to a standard God never gave us.  The only standard is Jesus and our personal yielding to the specifics He has for our lives.

I wish that I could bottle my experiences over the past year and a half and let you see…but instead I offer up my gratitude and wonderment on this blog.  There were no earth-shattering changes to the naked eye in my life this past year or so…but there has been quite a shattering that has been shaking me to the core.  Freedom…to be myself…to live this adventure with God showing me who that self is.  Goodness the regrets that come when we make poor choices out of desperate need for acceptance and approval.  And there is no spouse, no parent, no friend, no leader or Pastor that can give us what we truly need…the acceptance and freedom God created us to  live and thrive in. 

I can hardly contain my enthusiasm this morning!  I haven’t arrived by any stretch, but I am learning that it’s okay to take the journey and join the adventure without striving so hard to become the “end product” over night.  If you read this post and you identify with what I’m describing….deep inside you are tired and worn out from never measuring up…you can only imagine the freedom to just be yourself (warts and all!)…you crave a stability and peace you have never known or lost along the way…you know there must be more…you were meant for more…then run to Him!

As I write these lyrics play in my kitchen  (One Thing Remains by Jesus Culture)
Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me
Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me
Because it goes on and on and on and on it goes
For it overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
For one thing remains…
Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me…

You were not created to spend your life toiling for approval.  God loves you and your value and worth is immeasurable.  No matter what.  Regardless of what you’ve done, how many times you did it.  Regardless of the way you may be living now.  Regardless, also, of how “good” you may already think you are.  God’s love and acceptance is never based on anything we have or give.  God loves us, wants us, gave Himself up for us because that is who HE is.  There is an adventure tailor-made for you…a plan…a destiny…a life full of knowing more of Him along the way.

This journey of losing the self you don’t much like anyway and gaining an amazing freedom and contentment in discovering this Jesus who loves you…who wants you…who waits for you to run to Him…can start anytime you choose.  It’s not easy but I’ll bet anything that you find a glory-strength inside for it that you never knew you had!  And there is no real cost when you find freedom.

Do it.  Lose Yourself…


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