Pixie Dust and Lid-Lifting

Last night  as I was snuggling with Leah  I noticed she had sand in her hair.  I asked what happened and my sweet 4-year-old daughter said she was playing in the sandbox and used the sand for pixie dust.  She was quite serious as I asked her if she was hoping it would help her to fly.  The mental picture of my little brown-eyed girl taking handfuls of sand and sprinkling it on her head as she has seen in Tinkerbell makes me smile.  But, it also caused me to ponder…

The elusive fairy dust of life.  Or, as Leah calls it, “pixie dust.”  She was hoping something magical would happen.  I wonder about us.  How many times in life do we need to fly…long to fly…and we just keep waiting for the pixie dust and hoping something magical will happen.  How many times, like Leah, are we disappointed to find that all we end up with is sand in our hair?

This morning I began a new book, a study, about leadership.  In the first day of the first chapter, John Maxwell correlates the characteristics of Saul and David as King (1st and 2nd Samuel).  The major point he is making is that David’s leadership and life was quite different from Saul’s because David determined to take the lid, or limitations, off.  One example was how each man reacted when confronted with their own sin and weakness.  Saul did not really heed the guidance and correction of the men God placed in his life.  David, however, responded in humility and repentance when Nathan the prophet confronted him about his sin with Bathsheba.  John Maxwell writes about David  “He was never afraid to admit his shortcomings, ask for God’s forgiveness and blessing, and improve himself.  It is the reason the lid on his leadership kept getting lifted higher and higher.” 

This touched my heart this morning.  David was known, even though he sinned horribly with Bathsheba, as a man after God’s own heart.  He was never afraid to “improve himself.”  I thought back to Leah’s pixie dust attempts at flying last night.  I thought about my own desire to fly and soar and be the woman God wants me to be…not just in leadership, but in every area.  As a mother, wife, servant, friend, daughter, sister, writer.  See, I have experienced the lifting of the lid in various degrees.  I have experienced the lifting of a very low and tight lid on my marriage.  I have experienced the lifting of a lid I could hardly acknowledge on my dreams and God’s purposes for my life.  And as I read about David this morning, I consider how my life changed and shifted when I stopped putting my hopes in the ever-elusive pixie dust.  When I crossed a line between waiting for things to improve and being willing to humble and improve myself.  When I ceased to focus only on the weaknesses in others and admit my own ferocious shortcomings.  Goodness, the lid began to lift.  Now I cry out to my Father because I desire to see the various lids continue to lift.  I long to be a better mom.  I long to know Jesus more and stay close by His side.  I need to be so close I can lay my head on His shoulder as He wraps His arm around me and I become less of me and more like Him.

Life doesn’t change and we don’t fly because of pixie dust or just hoping.  Jesus is the lid-lifter.  It is in our neediness, our humble and unafraid admission of our shortcomings, that the lid begins to loosen.  I used to think I was less spiritual somehow if I went to God with my great need for improvements (as if somehow I should be past the need).  But now I see that my heart-cries for help have been rooted in a deep, God-given desire to fly.  I believe we all have that desire.

After only two short pages in a new book and thoughts of my daughters sandy hair, I tell Jesus this morning how much I want to be like David.  I know I won’t be perfect (David wasn’t either!), but I want to live with my heart and humanity on the altar of my God.  A place where He has my permission to challenge me, change me, convict me and bless me.  I want to fly…


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