Matters of the Heart

Psalm 119:2 (Amplified)
Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are they who keep His testimonies, and who seek, inquire for and of him and crave Him with the whole heart.

This morning I read about King Saul in 1st Samuel.  I noticed how he didn’t really wait for the Lord to direct him as he made decisions in battle.  He would go through the motions of seeking God for direction, somewhat, but if it took too long he would just jump ahead with his own plan of action.  Eventually, after Saul blatantly ignored God’s instructions in a particular battle, God spoke through the prophet Samuel to let him know enough was enough.  God was choosing someone else to be king of Israel.  As I read how God led Samuel to Jesse’s house in Bethlehem, how He rejected each of Jesse’s sons until finally the “runt” shepherd boy was brought in from the hills, I wondered what must David have been like out there on those hills?  I thought of the many Psalms written by David.  I thought of the intimacy He shared with God.  And then, I thought of that famous line about David.  How he was a “man after God’s own heart.”  But this morning my own heart is confronted in a new way.

I don’t know about you (and perhaps you aren’t familiar with David’s story in the Bible or this scripture about him being a man after God’s heart..that’s okay!!) but I have always taken this idea of David being a man after God’s own heart  to mean David had the heart of God.  As in God saw in David a heart He liked.  I’m pretty sure that is true!  But how about this?  What if David, the runt shepherd son on the hills, captured God’s attention because he was all about capturing God’s heart?  What if David being a man after God’s own heart means David was after God’s heart?  What if “after God’s heart” means pursuing His heart? What if being after God’s heart means seeking, inquiring for and of Him…craving Him with our whole heart?  Not only trying to have a heart God will be pleased with, but really knowing the heart of the One we are trying to please?

Maybe you read this and think uhm, yeah.  That is what it means, girlfriend.  Smile…if so awesome.  But for me this morning, there is a much-needed shift in my understanding.  See, I could be like Saul and throw my stuff God’s way but not really be about capturing God’s heart.  I can volunteer at church, tithe, even pray, read my Bible and write on this blog.  But underneath it all lurks a question…am I going through motions that I think please God, even with good intentions, but without inquiring of His heart?  Without craving God with all of my heart?

When I was almost twenty-three I met my husband.  We had a good first date…ate dinner out and played putt-putt.  I found him extremely good-looking and he was fun to be around.  Before long we were talking on the phone all of the time and going to see each other and having more dates.  We lived about thirty minutes apart and I remember as I would drive the distance in my little red Saturn I thought I would never get there!  I was filled with anticipation to see this guy!  I am pretty sure he felt the same way.  There was some serious heart-capturing going on.  I would say we were “after” one another’s hearts.  I would even say we each craved the nearness of the other.  And he was just a young man.  I was just a girl.

In the many years that have passed since my Saturn driving days, I have run into some stuff that left me seriously inquiring for and of God.  Needing not just His provision, but His presence.  I recognize this craving for God’s heart.  And this morning I am reminded that being a person “after God’s heart” isn’t about the stuff I do for Him.  The truth is sometimes it’s easy to do things for God, even reading our Bible or praying, without really pursuing Him.

It’s all a matter of heart.

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