Ticker-Tape Brain

Psalm 27:4-5 (the message)
I’m asking God for one thing,
    only one thing:
To live with him in his house
    my whole life long.
I’ll contemplate his beauty;
    I’ll study at his feet.
That’s the only quiet, secure place
    in a noisy world,
The perfect getaway,
    far from the buzz of traffic.

Have you ever been super exhausted and totally frustrated trying to hear from God?  Maybe you have been praying for answers or direction but instead of the “peace that surpasses all understanding” you just feel more and more confused.  And tired.  Because goodness knows after a while confusion and mental wheel-spinning leads to weary, wilted living.

Yesterday a dear friend sent me an email with a few encouraging words and a link to a website she felt God wanted her to share with me.  As I browsed over the website I eventually ran smack-dab into the reason she sent me the link.  I was sitting at my kitchen table (No, my behind is not glued to the seat at the table.  Smile.) As I sat there my heart started to pitter-patter and competing emotions stirred within.  My thoughts jumped up, ran around, sat back down and then started all over again!

Leighton and I then made our way to the living room so I could fold laundry.  I was discussing my rambunctious thoughts with God (and honestly my oblivious one-year-old) when I realized my brain was running like a ticker-tape. Suddenly I knew.  Well, remembered really.  I can’t hear God in my head.  It is way too noisy in there!

God speaks to us through His Word and yes, I do believe He leads us through inward impressions and the desires of our hearts (when our heart is for God).  I think I kinda forgot about that for a while.  Somehow I let ticker-tape brain take over and as you can imagine, and perhaps have experienced, there is no clarity or peace to be found in noisy ticker-tape brain living.  I believe Holy Spirit leads and directs us in our spirit.  We often refer to this as our heart.

What an amazing relief!  Remembering I don’t have to sift for His voice amidst the “buzz of traffic” in my head.  This is not where Creator speaks to me.  How did I forget?  When did I change frequency?  And really, does it even matter now?!

Not to me today.  Sigh (good sigh!).  A heavy weight lifted from my heart.  See, our minds can be going ninety miles an hour with our “what ifs” and “how abouts” and “wish I woulda’s”  but the Bible says we can take our thoughts captive!  I can press pause long enough to listen to my heart…my spirit…and check for any pulls, tugs or scriptures that come.  Does that sound weird?

So listen.  If I believe, I mean am convinced, that Creator lives in three persons (God the Father, God the Son {Jesus} and God the Holy Spirit) then that’s already kinda of weird!  (Try explaining the trinity, which really who can!, to your second grader.  I described God as water in three states:  solid, liquid, gas.  All water just different forms.  No, I’m not so smart I heard it somewhere else!) But anyway, here is what I think is more weird:  Believing Jesus is God’s Son, sent to save us from our sin, but then doubting His Spirit would fill us, lead us and speak to our hearts.  Besides, Jesus told His followers He must leave them (go to Heaven) so the comforter, or friend, could come.  The friend who would lead Jesus’s followers into “all truth.”  God in a body (Jesus) could only be in one place at time.  But God’s Spirit (Holy Spirit) is everywhere, including our hearts if we believe.  God’s Spirit testifies within our hearts that we are His and He is ready to lead, guide, fill and direct us!

As I read the scripture above today I think a bit on dwelling with Him.  How because I trust in Jesus God’s Spirit dwells within me!  I think about  living with Him, contemplating His beauty, studying at His feet.  I know for sure this is where I find quiet for my soul.  I lean into His presence, wait for His hand on my brow.  No longer is my primary goal an answer for a need because I begin to recognize, again and again and again, He is all I need.  Jesus is every answer I’m striving so hard to hear.  His love and comfort, His priceless peace in my heart, will be what leads me.  In every situation, in every hour of every day.  My whole life long.  And I will never, ever get that in a ticker-tape parade.

I just kinda forget sometimes.


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