1 Samuel 3:10 (the message)
Then God came and stood before him exactly as before, calling out, “Samuel! Samuel!”
Samuel answered, “Speak. I’m your servant, ready to listen.”
After a morning of errands, bananas and milk, Leighton is taking a nap. I had a ridiculously unhealthy lunch (curse the leftover ice cream cake!) as I skimmed a blog post I received about following your God-size dream. I like the way she wrote it…a God-size dream is not about the big or smallness, but the fit. God-size means it’s the size fitted for your life. I like that a lot. Sometimes someone will say I need to write a book. I love and appreciate the encouragement but when I look inside my heart right now a book isn’t there. I just want a lot of people to be touched by what He gives me for this blog.
And yet my heart is restless for revelation.
Frustrated in my flesh.
Once you learn to recognize His voice…once you experience the daily adventure in following wholeheartedly, you can’t go back. You are never the same. A part of you longs for closeness and intimate whispers.
So when He seems silent it’s maddening.
As I sit in this old, green recliner with an urrrh! in my throat and head in my hands I sense a pull to get my Bible. Okay, okay. After two slices of that blasted cake I open up to my place in 1 Samuel.
Samuel, the son Hannah prayed for then dedicated to live in God’s temple, is asleep in his bed. He keeps hearing someone call his name and gets up to check in with Eli the priest. Three times Samuel believes Eli is calling him and yet Eli tells him that he did not and to go back to bed. Eventually Eli realizes God is calling out to Samuel and he instructs the boy to answer God as we see in the verse above.
Can I share with you how I tripped all over this verse?
God is God. He could have easily spoken His message to Samuel the first time. But he didn’t. He waited.
Until Samuel was ready to listen.
Until Samuel’s attitude was that of a servant.
Until He knew Samuel was ready to respond in obedience.
My frustration and restlessness is confronted head on today. Because in the deep places I hear this question.
Are you ready to listen?
And I know what being ready means. Are you ready to hear and do whatever it is I’m going to say?
The truth is there between us. I’m not.
No, God, not really. So what do I do to get my heart ready? To want to be ready?
You have to make a choice. And trust me to help you as you do.
I want to experience a fresh revelation in my life, but I’m not sure I want to pick up my cross and follow through.
Kind of like Sam, hearing his name being called but looking to the wrong person/place, I know He’s still calling me but I’ve drifted to that place of wanting an easy answer. Samuel, being young and untried, was looking to Eli for direction.
But it was time for Samuel to hear from God himself.
All I know to do is be honest with Him. Tell Him what we both know. My heart’s not really ready to listen because I’m not fully ready to obey. And yet I know with perfect conviction there is no greater joy or fulfillment to be had than living surrendered to Jesus.
I might want revelation, the God-size dream He has for me, but He wants all of me first.