Lord, when you favored me,
You made my royal mountain stand firm;
But when you hid your face,
I was dismayed.
(Psalm 30:7 NIV)
Wife. Mother. Friend. Registered Nurse. Volunteer.
Of all the roles I’ve known in my thirties, the one I was least prepared to hear God speak to my heart was Leader. This sudden whisper, loud as it was, seared my heart forever. Leadership was unfamiliar so I resisted until one morning, months later, I finally came undone. He was calling me away from nursing to lead in ministry…something I never imagined myself doing. I wept as His peace filled my heart.
As I gaze into my autumn backyard, I pause. He took this ordinary girl and did something extraordinary with my life. I get it now. God takes those “less likely” and turns us inside out if we’ll let Him. It’s breathtakingly beautiful what happens in this great romance between Creator and created…Crucified and called…Lover of souls and the lost. He mends and blends, transforming us and spilling out of our regular lives.
A year ago I chose to step down from this God-whispered calling as my third daughter arrived. I have struggled almost every day. Like the Psalmist, God’s favor made me strong and His purpose was my royal mountain! I was standing firm in His presence and power. It was clear. I was certain.
Now I’m dismayed.
I see the reality of change all around. Leaves, once green with life, now a blaze of color as they fall to the hard earth. I wonder does nature fight against the changing of seasons? Does it know that when things feel dry and dead it’s only preparation? Do the trees sway in consternation or surrender? Do the leaves swirl in confusion or anticipation? Have they accepted what I cannot? A God of changing seasons has my future in sight even as He lets me wither…
As the seasons changed, so did my heart! I would love for you guys to check out the remainder of my post under “Guests” over at (in)courage and share your thoughts!