Chalk With Me

Those perfect little pastel cylinders.

Leighton was so happy yesterday to discover I bought her a new pack of sidewalk chalk.  As soon as possible she wanted to be outside on her driveway perch.

Chalk with me, Mama!!!

(Third-born has decided the noun is also a verb)

Naturally I wrote our names in big, driveway-size letters.  Quizzed her on the letters that spell her name.  Loopy flowers and rainbows galore.

So this morning.  Day beginning as we drop the sisters out at school.

Mama, when we get home will you chalk with me?!!

More letters, flowers and rainbows.  The sky is crazy blue like the art we’ve created.  The temperature is heavenly perfect.  Leighton smiles and laughs and shows me her work all the while rays of her sunshine pierce my heart a bit.

I think about being Mom.

I do my best most days.  Sometimes it’s enough.

Sometimes it’s not.

We stroll down to the playground (sniffling from a cold and thinking about my own schoolwork begging to be finished) and I remember the beauty in knowing Him.

I remember Bible words.

My grace is enough.

Who ever knew being a grown-up could be so heavy?  Who knew the sweet babes we rock and cuddle could one day scare the daylights out of us?  Make us look so deeply inside ourselves.  Wonder how in the world can we teach them lessons we have yet to fully learn?

Maybe watching us learn is itself a lesson.

Standing in dew-kissed grass and I know this, for certain:

Creator fills in the gaps I can’t cover. Oozes into the cracks and fissures I create. Makes strong the fragile, crispy places I leave behind.

My well-meaning, inadequate best gets mixed up inside the more-than-enough He offers. So I point myself, repeatedly, in the direction of my Father. Over and over and over I recalibrate.

A lifetime of sifting. Of being sifted.

Jesus-love and Jesus-hands lifting my face to the Heavens. Giving me eyes to see crazy blue skies and how imperfect mothering is not a threat to my children as long as He’s present in our lives.

Creator-grace is enough. His strength rises high inside the depths of our weakness. We do what we can do and Heavenly Father does what we cannot.

I believe this with all of my heart.

And so I exhale.  And I chalk.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness.”  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.  — 2 Corinthians 12:9 New Living Trans.

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