Sunday words about David. The many years between anointed shepherd boy and King of Israel…the wanderings, the running, the hiding in caves.
Cave dweller. So clearly whispered to my heart.
I caught a glimpse of myself. Standing at the entrance of my cave, squinting against the light of day as I peered out. Jesus beside me as if He had walked with me, from inside, to face the light.
In heart-darkness He is still with us because He lives within us.
We think we have to find our way to Him. Review the ways we could and should try to get back to Him.
Except Jesus never left me. Unspeakably amazed, I find Jesus inside my cave. I find compassion unparalleled. Love so organic, so intrinsic. Because I thought I was alone, really.
My disappointment with people and aspects of church-world oozed into disappointment with God. The margins were so unclear. I could not efficiently sift the imperfections of human influence from the pristine faithfulness of the Lord.
Sometimes there is a wilderness. A weariness from the elements, wondering why in the world God, if He loves us, lets the sun beat down with no relief.
Why this diagnosis? Why this bank statement? Why this rejection? Why the injustice? The hypocrisy? Why can’t I do better? Be different? Why can’t other people do better and be different? Why do I have to deal with this?
So maybe we quit dealing and crawl inside the nearest hide-away.
To live a cave dweller’s life…
Today I let the girls break out the Christmas movies. As Leighton watched The Grinch I thought about the ending. How even in isolation love still found him. When Grinch’s heart began to thaw and expand He cried out. Coming out of the cave, heart-thaw, brings an ambush of feelings with it.
Any fellow cave dwellers out there today? May I encourage you?
Jesus walks with us to the edge as many times as it takes. Stands by patiently. Slips His hand around ours as Love pounds and pulsates into our cold places. Squirming discomfort. Thawing means no more living numb.
Regardless of what awaits outside the cave Jesus is unchanging. He is our safest place.
A David Psalm:
You’re my cave to hide in,
my cliff to climb.
Be my safe leader,
be my true mountain guide.
Free me from hidden traps;
I want to hide in you.
I’ve put my life in your hands.
You won’t drop me,
you’ll never let me down.
–Psalm 31:3-5, the message