My Undeniable Center

I really don’t even know what kind of tree this is. I need to ask my husband because he would know.

I’m sitting on this old bench under this particular tree listening to the birds. And I think if I really focus, maybe I’ll see the tobacco plants growing before my very eyes. My front porch view has changed, but the blue of the sky is the same. Sounds of creation still familiar.

It’s different. And yet it isn’t.

Under this unidentifiable-to-me tree with my Bible open.

Untangle me, God.

Then he got in the boat, his disciples with him. The next thing they knew, they were in a severe storm. Waves were crashing into the boat–and he was sound asleep! They roused him, pleading, “Master, save us! We’re going down!” Matthew 8:23-25

Jesus slept soundly through the storm because he was not intimidated, threatened or afraid of the storm, the crashing waves. Jesus knew His power.

I’m often like the disciples. Mentally spinning and emotionally upset because the waves of life are coming into my boat and I fear they will take me down. I want to control the circumstances of life–insulate myself from storms and crashing waves–so I can feel safe and secure in every way.

I desperately want to be the best mom I can be. My impractical dream is to raise children unscathed by childhood–by life. Already I can tell you I have failed! There simply is no life lived without controversy, disappointment, regret or the need to overcome adversity.  Avoiding crashing waves is mostly a waste of time and attempting it will leave my daughters ill-equipped for life.

The waves are going to come crashing.

But Jesus, if He’s in my boat, will remain unfazed and very present.

Everything is not always going to be alright. But we can be alright.

Because no matter the waves crashing into our hearts, our minds or our bodies, Jesus will never change. His love, His grace, His mercy.  His very presence will not change.  Cannot be removed, weakened or taken from us.

No matter what. Not ever.

As I think this morning along these lines I remember my miscarriages. I asked God to save the life of my unborn child on two separate occasions.

Neither time did it turn out “alright.”

But I’m still alright.

Jesus was still in my boat. He spoke to my storm and eventually the waters calmed. Jesus is my constant, my undeniable center.  He’s my anchor over and over and over in this life.

He’s my rock-solid.

No matter what you might be going through, no matter what kind of waves might be pounding at your heart, your mind or your body, if Jesus is in your boat you will be alright in the end.

He’s not going to join into our frantic efforts to control, manage or manipulate life. But He will absolutely stand guard over our soul. He will speak peace over our lives in such a way the knots of fear unravel.

Jesus lifts our chin, turns our face to His so that our eyes are no longer filled with the circumstances around us but the love Creator has for us.

It’s not always gonna be alright, but it is.


One thought on “My Undeniable Center

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s