Not only did Jesus save me from an eternity without God, He gave me an option for my life on earth. I think about my life…a good life but not perfect. I believe He saw me…the challenges I would face as a child, the confusion and choices I would make as a young adult, the pain and shame…all of it…and I really believe when He chose to submit to the cross He knew I would need Him. God knows a life lived on earth is not easy and is often filled with anger, pain and regret. I don’t believe it was His original plan for humanity but here we are.
Jesus is my choice. My way out…my rescue. He is my strength, my hope, my joy, the very best companion. When I felt lost in oceans of shame and tangled in regret He whispered a reminder to my heart of a love that I cannot be separated from. No matter what or how long. When I was angry with the wrongs of childhood He showed me “hurting people hurt people” and slowly clipped the ties that kept me bound to offense. When I questioned if I could ever find the approval I so constantly needed He told me “I am the True Vine”….He is the true source of my existence and worth. When I cried “Is there any hope, God?” He answered in a person who said “God wants you to know there is hope” within hours of my plea. When my heart and body was limp with the loss of unborn babies He lifted my hands, slowly, so that in my worship He could heal my heart. When I was defeated in my failure to change destructive habits He showed me that apart from Him I could do nothing, but with Him all things are possible. In fear for my child’s health He reminded me of a verse He’d given me to hold onto…that I could trust Him with my whole life, every part of me, because He is good and wise and able. In my attempts to know and please Him I found myself worn out from striving and trying so hard. He whispered to my heart, I love you…stop trying so hard. Just be Loved.
When I feel dreams and passion and a longing for purpose churning on the inside I am reminded to keep my eyes on Jesus. He’s intimate and public, a whisper and a shout. He gently soothes my heart and shatters my pride, lets me break so He can build me up. Jesus shows me I don’t know half of what I thought I knew and then He teaches me. He sifts my heart for mixed motives in my willingness to obey Him. He empties me then fills me up and spills out of my ordinary life.
Jesus is my rescue…let Him be yours.